Sunday, October 12, 2008

Negative Chi

Negative chi has been invading me for the past few days, mood swing plus constantly feeling sian has affected my study and work life very much. For one day, I can stay up for 24 hrs non-stop to work, for another day, I would sleep the whole day.

I can sense that something is changing within me, regardless physical or mentally. Yet, I don't know what is the 'something'.

Suddenly I realize, I have been staying at home whole day and night for the past few weekends, except unavoidable dining-out time. And I need one meal only per day, and I can't finish the one meal for most of the time. The only thing that make me happy is my constantly dropping weight. But, this is not the way I want to slim down.

This is so un-me. I remembered when I was in Singapore, weekends are filled with exciting activities such as window shopping, karaoke, mahjong, gathering or even just merely staying overnight at my 'bukit timah villa' where it is the main camp place among our 'mou lei tao gang'. As the name suggested, we do nothing but stupid things. Playing Wii non-stop from 12am to 8am is indeed a stupid thing. :)

Moreover, I start to countdown to ... Not Halloween, not Thanksgiving, not Christmas, not New Year, not Chinese New Year, Certainly not cheng-meng, not labour day either, but my graduation day on 16 May 2009. However, shocking news came across me when one of my compulsory classes is not offered on next semester, a.k.a. I can't graduate by 16 May then. I guess this further deepen my down feeling.

I have started to send job application to various organizations, and I only received nothing but rejection letter. The economics downturn has made the job hunting more challenging. Some of my friends even have hard time securing their existing jobs.

SIGH.

Apa dah jadi to gua?

I guess, I am just missing old cheerful energetic Pink Leo in Singapore. I want to leave here ASAP! But this is not an option for me.

Depressed. Si be depressed.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

call centre also affected too, headcount freeze :( -xing