Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Is high expectation good or bad?

"Is high expectation good or bad?"

What say you?

When I was young, parents, teachers, neighbours or even strangers would encourage me to have high expectation.

" You should go for 100% for this exam."

"You should try to be No.1 in the class"

You should this... you should that.

Of course, their wishes rarely get granted, but at least, I don't fail out too badly because I worked hard to achieve the high expectation.

But now, this 'high expectation' is seems having a counter effect, it's hurting me.

Few hours later it would be the start of the International Food Fair, and I have been very stressed on 'doing a good job the best job'. I have this unrealistic vision of ... yeah, we must win the prize. yeah, we must raise lots of money. yeah, we must this..we must that....

As the day approaches, the stress level reaches the maximum point that I am now 36 hours consecutively without eating. Fasting? Dieting? Not really. I lost my appetite FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE!

ME? SAYA? FOOD LOVER! NOT APPETITE?

Da surely can't believe this, I bet you.

And now, I keep tossing on my bed and I just can't fall in sleep. I know deep in my heart and mind that 'I must sleep/rest so that I have the energy to do a good job later'.

Yet, my body is not following my mind.

Come and think about it, it is necessary that I set such a high expectation?

Do I get salary increase? No.

Do I get promoted to higher level? No.

Do I get praise for doing a great job? Maybe. So what?

Suddenly, I think I am the biggest fool in the world to set such a high expectation to myself.

Why bother?

I am paid $820 per month regardless of my job performance. Due to the nature of the job, I don't expect pay rise or promotion, and hardly I will get retrenched. All I need to do is just show face in office on time, shake shake leg, go off on the dot, and wait for the $820 bank into my account on the first day of the month.

Why am I stressing myself so much to exceed...nobody's expectation?

Damn stupid me. What a big fool.

My stress level just broke the 100 point marker because of Wall Street Journal:

For '09 Grads, Job Prospects Take a Dive


More depressed now. Alamak!!!!!!

I should have married a rich guy instead.

(Mr.Yap, don't kill me arrrrrr....)

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

u are overpaid.