Friday, October 31, 2008

How was the UTEP's International Food Fair?

I have been constantly busy with things - International food fair, exam, paper, assignment,book review,chapter summary,project...

Hu, too many things to take care. Since my previous very depressing post, things have been getting better and I am not that depressed anymore.

Firstly, the UTEP's international food fair. After several sleepless nights and 'food-less' day, I can proudly announce that the food fair was a very successful one. For the first time in the history of our program, we raised 843 tickets = USD843. Based on our records, USD300 was considered the best. Now, I have definitely raised the bar. Huahahaha....

Of course, this can't be done on my one-girl-show only. It requires team work to deliver such good results.

It all started from kitchen...

Aku, with very unglam hair net and Christina from Brazil

Abu joined the cooking too. Ya, she never leave kitchen.

Then, the booth...

From scratch, nada

To fully loaded, can you see the 'people mountain people sea'?

In fact, complaints were everywhere because 'the line was tooooooo long'. Ha ha.

The best team, International Representatives

From left: Sonam/Bhutan, Justyna/Poland, Abdallah/Egypt, Tip/Thailand, Ana Molina/Mexico, Christina/Brazil, Marian/Switzerland, Pink Leo/Malaysia and Julio from another student organization.

Who created this gorgeous poster? Me, of course.

Pink Leo and Justyna from Poland.

From left, Tip from Thailand, Pink Leo, Justyna and Sonam in his traditional Bhutanese costume

Tip had hard time counting the tickets, because it was a lot.

International Education time!

No food, no queue.

Yeap, Marian came to help us although she has already graduated. How sweet. On the right is another Bhutanese guy.

Everybody was so happy with the good results.

Now that I can sleep well, eat well... and add weight well.

I am back to 62.5kgs again. Damn!

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Is high expectation good or bad?

"Is high expectation good or bad?"

What say you?

When I was young, parents, teachers, neighbours or even strangers would encourage me to have high expectation.

" You should go for 100% for this exam."

"You should try to be No.1 in the class"

You should this... you should that.

Of course, their wishes rarely get granted, but at least, I don't fail out too badly because I worked hard to achieve the high expectation.

But now, this 'high expectation' is seems having a counter effect, it's hurting me.

Few hours later it would be the start of the International Food Fair, and I have been very stressed on 'doing a good job the best job'. I have this unrealistic vision of ... yeah, we must win the prize. yeah, we must raise lots of money. yeah, we must this..we must that....

As the day approaches, the stress level reaches the maximum point that I am now 36 hours consecutively without eating. Fasting? Dieting? Not really. I lost my appetite FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE!


Da surely can't believe this, I bet you.

And now, I keep tossing on my bed and I just can't fall in sleep. I know deep in my heart and mind that 'I must sleep/rest so that I have the energy to do a good job later'.

Yet, my body is not following my mind.

Come and think about it, it is necessary that I set such a high expectation?

Do I get salary increase? No.

Do I get promoted to higher level? No.

Do I get praise for doing a great job? Maybe. So what?

Suddenly, I think I am the biggest fool in the world to set such a high expectation to myself.

Why bother?

I am paid $820 per month regardless of my job performance. Due to the nature of the job, I don't expect pay rise or promotion, and hardly I will get retrenched. All I need to do is just show face in office on time, shake shake leg, go off on the dot, and wait for the $820 bank into my account on the first day of the month.

Why am I stressing myself so much to exceed...nobody's expectation?

Damn stupid me. What a big fool.

My stress level just broke the 100 point marker because of Wall Street Journal:

For '09 Grads, Job Prospects Take a Dive

More depressed now. Alamak!!!!!!

I should have married a rich guy instead.

(Mr.Yap, don't kill me arrrrrr....)

Sunday, October 12, 2008

Negative Chi

Negative chi has been invading me for the past few days, mood swing plus constantly feeling sian has affected my study and work life very much. For one day, I can stay up for 24 hrs non-stop to work, for another day, I would sleep the whole day.

I can sense that something is changing within me, regardless physical or mentally. Yet, I don't know what is the 'something'.

Suddenly I realize, I have been staying at home whole day and night for the past few weekends, except unavoidable dining-out time. And I need one meal only per day, and I can't finish the one meal for most of the time. The only thing that make me happy is my constantly dropping weight. But, this is not the way I want to slim down.

This is so un-me. I remembered when I was in Singapore, weekends are filled with exciting activities such as window shopping, karaoke, mahjong, gathering or even just merely staying overnight at my 'bukit timah villa' where it is the main camp place among our 'mou lei tao gang'. As the name suggested, we do nothing but stupid things. Playing Wii non-stop from 12am to 8am is indeed a stupid thing. :)

Moreover, I start to countdown to ... Not Halloween, not Thanksgiving, not Christmas, not New Year, not Chinese New Year, Certainly not cheng-meng, not labour day either, but my graduation day on 16 May 2009. However, shocking news came across me when one of my compulsory classes is not offered on next semester, a.k.a. I can't graduate by 16 May then. I guess this further deepen my down feeling.

I have started to send job application to various organizations, and I only received nothing but rejection letter. The economics downturn has made the job hunting more challenging. Some of my friends even have hard time securing their existing jobs.


Apa dah jadi to gua?

I guess, I am just missing old cheerful energetic Pink Leo in Singapore. I want to leave here ASAP! But this is not an option for me.

Depressed. Si be depressed.

Wednesday, October 01, 2008


马来西亚-美国-香港-新加坡, 这些地方有什么关系呢?

哈哈,我刚刚感受了Globalization的power啦! 粉红狮我啦,刚刚在香港radio电台-第二台的甜心家族点唱给木头叶听,他们几乎是立刻把我的点唱念出来。好感动呢!木头叶也刚好有听到哦!