Wednesday, September 03, 2008

Grown up thing

It is hard not to deny that I am already a full grown up, although I would still like to be a little girl as much as possible. No worries, just play and eat and sleep. (Ya, no worry on gaining weight too!)

I have been quite lost in the past, regarding my future - career and life. It is easy to say : Do what you like. Work in a job that you like. But, my problem is, I don't know what I like actually. I know I like to sing, but being a singer is not really .... a feasible choice for me.

Do you have the same problem as mine?

Now that I am married, I keep planning my future path without any certainty. When to give birth? Do I quit my job to take care of my children? How to support them financially? Do I want to further study again? Where to work? Malaysia? Singapore? United States?

Thousands and millions of questions run thought my little brain umpteen times everyday.

One day when I am showering: What job should I take after my MBA?

Another day when driving I sink in deep thought (bad example, you should concentrate when driving): Do I go finance? Or entrepreneurship? I know I like management, but management is too broad.

Sometimes when I am sitting on the toilet bowl doing my 'business': Hmmm.... Should I go for people management? But I never had HR classes before!

Etc etc etc....

Few days ago, I have a sudden urge to message a friend whom I never contacted for the past 2 years. He used to be my close buddy that we hang out everyday in NUS. We had a little chat and I apologized for not being keeping in touch. I didn't know his father passed away 2 months ago and I feel guilty for not being there for him. He said something that made me feel better and enlightened me at the same time:

Well, that's life. As we grow up, we meet different people at different stages in our lives. That's unavoidable.

How true.

After a while of warm up, we started to talk like we used to do in NUS. I am glad that I am still able to chat with him like that. The old buddy-buddy feeling came back. Friends are always important to me, as well as family. Like my 'son' called me another day just to chat with me casually. It was a good feeling.

I have been suspecting there is a invisible guardian angel guarding me all the time. I am always lucky for the most of the time (except winning Toto). Never really experienced any harsh hardship before. Ah, I know. The guardian angel must be my family and my friends.

Although I am not born in a wealthy family, I do live a decent and comfortable life. When I came to El Paso to study MBA, everything is ready. Bedroom, car, cellphone, even textbook. Able to travel every year during Christmas. Abundance of clothing and shoes. Most important, supporting family. Old Bean is a typical Asian father that always hold a stern face and strict. Abu is a banana whom is a good example of East meets West-Chinese blood with Ang Moh thinking. Freedom and flexibility are what always practiced in my family. Even I talk bad about Abu in my blog, she never ask me to remove such post. Always welcome to express my thought.

Not every mother read blog and glue to by the way. Yes, she emails too. Isn't she a cool mama? Despite the fact that she is banana.

Old Bean always ready to give me some cool and steady advices, although most of the time I am not interested listening at all. He is a good role model of 'live till old, learn till old'. However, I still prefer to play games rather than reading at this age.

As for Han and Ping, so far they never give me any trouble, except always take my cute stuff without asking. Hello Kitty la, Cute toy la, nice decorative stuff la, all go to them.

And Mr.Yap, my typical boring engineer husband. It is ok that he remain boring as he is now, because he never stop me from searching for fun doing. In fact, he is very generous to let me go further study at overseas for 2 years. How many newly wed husband can do that?

I was playing game as usual last night, and someone not in my messenger contact list says hi to me, claiming he is my junior in NUS.

Hmmm...blame the grown up things, my memory is getting distorted. I don't remember who he/she is. Let's pretend it is a 'he'. We chatted a little while, and I was asking casually if there is a job lubang in his company.

And, bingo! It turned out that his company is my desired type of company. And they even have position in the location that I wanted. The next thing, I am preparing my application package although I am graduating on next May. Hei, influenced by Singaporean liao, must kiasu a bit.

When I think back about it, everything is so .... peculiar. One moment some stranger message me. Next moment I realize what I want to do after my MBA.

And he said he read my blog that's why he message me.

Wow, I didn't know blogging has such bonus advantage.

So the moral of the story: Always ask and be proactive. Opportunity is for people who are always ready.


Deb said...

This seems familiar..thats because i am like that too! hehe. I refuse to accept the fact that i am all grown up. I guess i hate to take up all the reponsibilities that grown ups suppose to take.:P

Pink Leo said...

2 deb: We all hate it, but we can't avoid it. sad.